Monday, 1 January 2018
I am going to go out on a limb here a say something I have been wanting to say for about a month. I have so much empathy for all those out there who have tried, then started drinking again, then stopped, then tried again. We analysed every reason, every website, every piece of published material to try to find something we can relate to so we can stop drinking because it is fucking up our life.
How much more do we need? We don't need any more. There is NOBODY who has ever published ANYTHING on this blog which says "shit giving up was dumb, it ruined my life" or "giving up was good but sometimes it has downsides" NO ONE EVER says that when they have given it a year - it is the complete opposite.
Groundhog Girl was right - she said the first year much change happens, then after that things just work out for the better. A year and a couple of months ago I wanted to be dead, I was over it, bored and just hating myself, my aging body, my same-old daily grind. Nothing was exciting and drinking was the only thing that was, except it made me feel like shit so it was a 50/50 thing.
I NEVER knew how much my life would change if I gave up.
Now I am a firefighter with a completely different outlook on life, I am busy, I care about things that really matter, my kids the community, humanity and the world. We are off to Japan in a couple of months. A year ago I was scared to get on an aeroplane. My mental health has gone from 8% to 85% - that is so dramatic. Everyone benefits from this - especially my kids (I haven't had a fight with my family in ages - I trust my decision-making and now they all trust me - WTF?!!)
Alcohol became a lifestyle - now it is just a glass of stuff which to be honest I could take or leave (I chose to leave as it is such a strong depressant and who the hell needs that).
So please don't hate me for the next bit... but...
Just fucking do it. Stick to it and stop mucking around.
Our lives with alcohol are shit or we wouldn't be here
So quit procrastinating and do it.
Stop listing all the reasons why we should, or the pros and cons about quitting - or quoting all the people/organisations that justify anything we want to justify.
Alcohol makes us weak, when we are weak we find things to make us feel justified in our behaviour.
There will never be a shortage of books, theories or quotes that justify: moderation, stopping then starting again or just waiting until the wind changes to the north and a mystical gnome dressed in red pyjamas with a gold cape prances in saying "this is the day to stop - the leprechaun told me".
When drinking and hating ourselves the only way out is to stop. There is no other option - and we need a year under our belt, at least. We got ourselves sick, it doesn't matter whose fault it is - what matters is we need to fix it. There is no way you will look back after a good period of time and say "shit why did I stop, I have missed out on 12 months of drinking in my life"
So get fucking on with it.