Friday, 4 August 2017

Treating Sobriety with Respect

This was a great realisation for me.  All precious things need to be nurtured and treated well - when I was drinking, nothing was really ever given the respect that it deserved.

I think that was because when your brain is such a muddle it is very difficult to sort through what matters and what doesn't.  It is all just a big fog and our decision making abilities are marginal.

It wasn't until I stopped that things slowly started to fall into place, especially relationships and making sounder decisions.  It wasn't a conscious process, it just started to happen due to perhaps my prospective being completely different.

I had no idea it was as bad as it was until I could look back on the "then" and "now".  I still can't really remember the last two years in clarity up to when I stopped drinking in November.  It's still foggy and I don't push it.

Many bloggers have said over and over that we need to treat our sobriety with respect (https://ainsobriety.wordpress.com).  This is a difficult concept to embrace mentally - well it was for me.  I didn't understand the concept of how to do that and it wasn't until about 7 months in that I "felt" what needed to happen.

Like all relationships, the one between ourselves and our well-being (physical and mental health) requires work.  Whether it be the gym, our diet or whatever we do have to stop ourselves being excessive in the wrong areas.

It is a natural progression I feel, that given the availability of alcohol and the message of how good it is for us as a stress reliever, our human condition will push the envelope.  We will start to use it incorrectly more often than not.

There is no median.  There is not "diet".  There is not warnings:  "if you don't excercise and eat too much you will become overweight" "if you start to feel depressed you need to see a Dr or a counsellor"   With alcohol no body want to talk about it so it isn't until you have 7 DYI's and are on a park bench and then it's like "hey better get that person out of society - yuck... let's kick them into that weird program AA for all the losers who can't control themselves".

So it's up to us.  We have to look after ourselves.  We have to treat our sobriety with the respect and care it deserves.  We have to stop thinking of them and us and we aren't part of a club anymore, and concentrate on how we are taking an incredible leap of faith into the future.

One day everyone will know this and we will look like the pioneers of physical and mental health.

Loads of love and respect to you all
Michelle
x

10 comments:

  1. Yes. I like respect because I cringe at the fear used in some 12 step programs, even if I like the general program.
    I have found sobriety to be such a precious state. It is so important to my personal wellbeing and has brought such joy to my life. Yet I see people forget this and relapse and lose everything. People who seemed secure and safe.
    So respect it is. Completely willing, all in, respect.
    Anne

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    1. Yes it must be due to the underlying problem/s we don't fix and expect sobriety to do it :)
      Michelle xx

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  2. My take on what (I think!) we,re talking about is - to be good (as in 'kind') to yourself, always keep in mind what you are achieving/have achieved, the immense difficulty of it, never forget to give yourself crefit. And, as important, give yourself a hug. Often.

    Is that on the same page as your thoughts?

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    1. Hi NW x
      Yes it is kind of, but I think for me I was meaning something more encompassing .... Anyone who drinks (and it becomes a problem) I believe is because we have problems anyway. Alcohol becomes a friend as it medicates issues, however it eventually becomes THE problem and we can't differentiate between what was wrong and what is anymore. Not to mention the NEW problems that arise because of our drinking.

      We stop drinking, then our problems re-surface and we get confused "isn't stopping drinking supposed to make it all better?" Well it is but maybe differently that we imagine. Sobriety gives us the chance to take the courage and clear mind to help ourselves. Our sobriety needs to be respected for just what it is and not treated like some big fat "fix-all". We need to yes hug ourselves, be proud of ourselves and be kind but that gets a little annoying after a while... with the back patting then the angry "I am proud of myself but shit I still feel like crap and this isn't achieving anything big"

      I believe that we also have to take the responsibility to seek help and explore what makes us struggle, feel down, anxious or lack social courage, or perhaps grieve if we haven't for something, educate ourselves etc.

      That sobriety is very fragile if we expect it to work so hard on its own.

      I think that is what I mean also
      Michelle xxxxx

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  3. I agree with your perspective; I am feeling raw emotions with so many areas in my life right now. I haven't been alcohol free this long in such a while, that I forgot how to deal with my problems on their own. I've found, at moments, when I struggle with an issue, I want to turn to a glass of "something." I'm trying hard to work on myself, my fears and insecurities, while giving up the alcohol. Hard work, because as you wrote, "isn't stopping drinking supposed to make it all better?" Better yes, but not ALL better.

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    1. I still have moments but luckily something just stops me :)
      M x

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  4. We do need treat ourselves and our sobriety with respect and care.
    Yes, indeed.
    If I just got stopped drinking, but didn't look a little deeper, I don't know if I could have stayed sober this long. I understand each day I must make the commitment to try to live up to my highest self, sober.
    xo
    Wendy

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    1. I like your thought process on this Wendy, it is so similar to that of Anne & Mrs D. I think those who have been strong and brave, remained sober for a good length of time have such a great outlook. I will get there!
      M xxx

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  5. Replies
    1. Thanks PDTG - it's a mixed bag but so much better than when I was drinking. I have actually achieved so many things in the past few months. How are you ? xx

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