Sunday, 26 February 2017

Terrible Stress

According to the lovely,nz I have gone a whole 109 days without alcohol.

Dealing with stress is difficult and after giving up my crutch to in effect "ignoring" the problem, of course the problem or problems don't just go away.

Anxiety, sleep, depression are linked in a way that alcohol masks.  The interim hours of sobriety between drinks just fills the void with guilt, self-loathing and a myriad of other problems.  Behind all of that the anxiety, sleep, depression just sit in the background.

Sober now, it is the time to face these things and daily life.  It is hard, It is sometime so uncomfortable that I want to climb out of my own skin.  It has to be done though.  Emotional maturity and wellness is achievable after addition.  So many others have proved this to be so.

Work in progress
M xxx


  1. Hi Michelle!
    It is hard at times, and other times it's not so hard.
    Although these last few weeks have been a struggle, I have had many more weeks where I have learned so much.
    And even in the hard times, my hubs tells me it won't last forever.
    I think my growth in recovery is not a steady climb, but maybe more of a 3 steps forward, and now step back.
    Much Love,

  2. Thank you Wendy :)
    Yes I see what you mean about 3 steps forward and 1 back. It feels like 4 back but it is just a feeling and will pass.
    Love to you

  3. Hi! Found your blog from another blog. There are so many bloggers out there on this topic, it's crazy! But great! I need the support because alcohol is everywhere. I have decided that alcohol is the new tobacco! I am 39 days sober today but it already feels like much longer. Not sure why that is. Over the last few years, I have tried unsuccessfully to moderate. Even when it's possible, I feel so spiritually empty and bad about myself, I came to the realization finally that it is time to just cut it out altogether. I am feeling so much better in every way. The first two weeks was HARD! I am sleeping so much better now, skin looks awesome, have lost some tummy fat, more energy, more productive. I could go on and on. Part of the reason it feels easy right now is because I think I was just really ready. I never had a traditional rock bottom, but didn't want to find out what that might look like. My last drink was part of a binge on a girls trip, and I had some physical symptoms that were scary and lasted for a whole week (not your usual hangover). From everything I read, these symptoms were caused by chronic alcohol abuse, not just an isolated binge. Like you, I don't want to turn 50 like this. My 50th is coming up in a few months and I am determined to make this next half of my life all about health and balance, living in the present and living fearlessly, which means facing all of life's ups and downs head-on. Things have been good in my life since I've quit, but I do worry about the future. The last few years have been extremely challenging with a special needs child. I was drinking to escape and self medicate during the crisis. The situation has turned around and life is very good. But I know that everything changes, and this is certainly not the last time I will experience a life crisis. It wasn't the first either, but for some reason this one really knocked me down. I have to learn to deal with life's uncomfortable moments and emotions in healthy and responsible ways. It feels so much better! Anyway, I am rambling. Thank you for your blog and congrats on your sobriety!

  4. Hi Juno - I love your message, what a strong and courageous person you are.
    Life is stressful and can be unimaginably difficult, but the one thing I have learned over the past few months, is alcohol just makes it worse. It does sometimes delay problems, but unfortunately those around us never have "all" of us or even "half" of us. We think we are functioning but like you say it is hardly living fearlessly! Good on you for having such a great outlook and going for it.

    Alcohol creates a "fake void filler" so without we are sometimes at a loss with what on earth to do with ourselves. I have a jar (well 2 actually - 1 for me on my own and one for when am with the kids) and when I am feeling like screaming go to the jar and take out one of the bits of paper with "go to the beach" or "get in the car and drive somewhere" "read for half and hour" etc.

    Keep me posted on how you are going :)
    Michelle x

  5. Thanks! So true. Really like the idea. I am starting to make my list for the jar (go to yoga, go for a run, dance to 80's music, visit a sober blog or online forum. I relax when driving too :) I can think of lots more. Just can't put online shopping or eat sugary or carb loaded foods on the list. These are my other weaknesses I'm working on. Part of my "addictive" personality, I guess.

  6. Hi, I hope you are ok and feeling ok. Thinking of you and keep doing what you are doing.

  7. Thanks PDTG - yes much better this week and still sober.
    It really means a lot to all of us when we stick at it - knowing specifically for myself, it is the right decision.
    M xxxx

  8. You are so wise in recognising that this must be dealt with. I wish you courage and strength. I wish also I could hope across to NZ and give you a big hug and say it is worth it xxx

    1. Thanks SP :) Same to you!
      Feeling better this week and so glad I am not drinking
      M xx


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